Hello upper east siders, gossip girl here. Things are bubbling on a sunny Sunday at central park.
This is a weekend to remember. At the Saturday night birthday bash everybody got to see Josh and Ashley rehearsing a get together and conveniently disappearing through the fire escape. I never got to follow them to see what actually happened but Josh’s hair when we finally found him, hum, told us everything.
That was not the night’s only escape. A cocky Blake got to fill up his ego while successfully double tasking ate the same party. Juggling girls seems to be Blake’s main object of pride – and he couldn’t possibly miss the chance of publically bragging it to all his friends. Everybody who enjoyed a tasty hangover at central park got to see him jump up and down about his conquests. (Happily congratulated by all his proud mates.)
Our friend conveniently forgot to mention, though, his weekly visits do de sex shrink. It’s been over 3 years, hun’, no results yet? (Bet it has something to do with the cheating girlfriend of his teenage years. Never mind, Blake).
Two minutes later at the same park’s corner, a pissed-off Ashley picked a fight with Josh for our entertainment. One of Blake’s poor victims was her friend, Sam, and Josh carefully helped the whole Blake’s double hook-up operation.
Sam surely can’t tell what kind of sex issues Blake’s got to deal with – she’s never got to put his skills do proof (as Blake brought to imagine). But we all know that Ashley guarantees, if needed, that no genetic stuff is involved, I’ll tell you that.
The reason about Ashley’s scene, though, is a lil’ beneath the surface: Ash easily felt at Sam’s shoes and could picture all of those guys doing pretty much what Blake did. Josh included.
Since 4 of her friends are dating 4 of those friends that’s was not a pretty sight.
(Speaking of pretty sights, everybody is talking about Blake’s boxer shorts and the sex issue he doesn’t have.)
On both weekend’s events also took place our most expected Colin and Kim reunion. Did anybody notice Kim’s sorrowy eyes? If any of you upper east readers know the reason for Kim’s unexpected sadness, please write back. (Is it possible that the unbreakable couple is maybe becoming a triangle?)
Last, but not least, if Sam heard about Blake’s historical quote, that’s surely a mystery. If Ash and Josh are finally getting back together, don’t put your hopes up. If the hopping monkey-dudes are ever gonna get any after Blake’s little park performance, well, they probably will.
All I can do is warn you, upper east princesses: Be aware.
Nobody wants to be tomorrow’s Central Park blast. (In a way, all of us already are.)
X O X O